Turtle-9

©Jason

“My dad really liked you, like a father would love his own son. Sometimes it seemed like he liked you more than Young. It was as if you were the youngest son he never had. Young was never jealous of that; he loved you like you were his own baby brother.

My dad loved talking about the day he visited you at the air base and came down to your office. He always said you seemed so tense sitting in front of the monitor that you didn’t even notice he was there watching you. He laughed at how intense you were in the office, but somehow, I think he saw himself in you.

You get tense, you know that? Even when you are doing the smallest thing, you get tense. You’re just so focused and so serious. Why are you like that?”

“J, I think there is no such thing as a small task in this world. Everything matters, doesn't it? I try to pay attention to the things I do. I try because if I don’t, I’m really not paying attention. I remember that day; I knew your dad had clearance for military sites, but I didn’t expect to see him at my office. He called my name a couple of times, and I stood up and looked at him for a while. He said, 'You should salute, Private.' So I did. Then he hugged me. I still remember that day. Yeah, I was tense—I was paying attention to my work, even though I was just a private.

J, I try to walk to the great beyond. To the edge, the limit, and the end—so that I know where meaning stops and I can make a decision. If I don’t go to the edge, I can never know if I should stop the pursuit. You know what I mean? If you don’t try, you will never know.”

“I think that’s why my dad liked you. People like my dad or you... others don't always like your type; they feel uncomfortable around you. Maybe that’s why my dad left the Navy.

He really liked seeing you at the office. He was seeing you but he was seeing himself. I think.”

“I think so too. I think that’s why he wanted me to salute him.”