Baby crow and her parents

©Jason. “Less of a person“

I was at a crossing and noticed two crows were barking—yeah, like barking. What’s the right verb to describe crows barking hard?(Gemini said it’s ‘cawing’) They were almost barking. Then I noticed there was a baby crow on the road. Cars were moving fast and the baby crow was frozen. You know there is this time of the year when baby birds go through a flying learning phase? So you will see many baby birds on the street and parents are looking at them from the tree? It was that season.

I love animals, so I decided to help. Instead of grabbing the baby crow, I slowly walked behind the bird and spread my arms so the bird could climb to the sidewalk. She did, and I started to walk away.

Something sharp started hitting my head. I’ve never had that feeling, so I turned around and two angry crows were attacking me. I instantly realized, oh, they thought I was trying to harm their baby. They attacked me for 10 minutes. I didn’t run and I couldn’t turn around because it felt like they would attack my face. I almost yelled out, "Hey, I was trying to help you! Do you know how much I care about you guys? No, really, I care about all different kinds of you!” But what’s the point? They would think I am trying to fight back. So I just walked, and they followed me for another 30 minutes.

After 2 years, I started to think maybe they knew I was trying to help, but they were just upset because I was interfering with their education for their child. Maybe they were giving a chance to their child to learn how to cope with traffic and I stepped in. Maybe that’s why they were upset. Thinking they were "just animals" and couldn't possibly process the idea that I was trying to help was ignorant of me. I really don’t know much, and it took me 2 years to even think about the possibility that I was wrong all along and that I was making myself noble based on my own bias.

I was at a restaurant last weekend waiting for my turn to be seated. Not a fancy one, rather a diner. Like Denny’s. You know, casual and cozy. It was an extremely busy night, and people were waiting for their turns. It seemed like the restaurant had its own system of letting people in.

Then I saw this angry group yelling at the host. The host was in her 20s and it seemed like she made a mistake. It seemed like it, because I don’t know for sure. The group was upset, yelling and making a scene.

Minding my business—maybe that’s the lesson I should’ve learned from my encounter with the crow family. I did learn. So I tried to justify the yelling ones. I said to myself, ‘This is their big night out, maybe a farewell party, and they’ve been waiting for 2 hours. Even worse, they saw someone who came later getting their table before them.’ They have all the reasons in the world to be upset and angry. Because think about it, isn’t it so unfair for them?

Let’s even make it more dramatic: what if one of their party was dying and it was going to be her last supper? Wait, why stop there? How about if it was the very last supper for everyone in the party? Isn’t it so devastating to not be seated any earlier at Denny’s?

Even after this sincere effort to justify them, I thought: no one in this universe can yell at someone like that. No anger could be justified over messing up the order of people getting into a Denny’s.

So I stepped in. You see, I learned my lesson, so I decided to be smart this time. I walked to the host and stood right next to the people who were yelling at her, and started another conversation with her. I asked a totally unnecessary, unmeaningful question and asked for her help and guidance. She had to leave the scene so she could help me on this unimportant matter. And the people who were yelling? They had to stand there while everyone was staring at them.

I explained later to the host that I asked for help right at that moment because I felt horrible looking at people like them.

Yeah, maybe I should’ve minded my own business because I can’t know for sure about the situation, but even if I didn’t know, I believed no one deserves anger like this from other people—especially in a minimum-wage job. I wasn’t feeling noble helping others; I really wanted to help. No, no one asked for help and it wasn’t my job. But I was already walking towards the host podium by then.

I started working at a young age. I’ve worked different jobs, from lowest paying to well paying, meeting different people and experiencing different social situations. I can’t remember the exact moment I was frozen, surrounded by angry people, but my body remembers there were several occasions back then. No one helped because I was alone. I was young; I didn’t know what to do or how cope with it. I felt hurt.

I do not want to see people hurting people. I understand people get frustrated, upset, and angry. But do not look for an outlet where you can release all the anger from your entire life onto a random person. I used to think it was me they were so angry at; I felt horrible about myself.

So how was the food? The food was terrible. They were understaffed that evening and the service was awful. They forgot to bring one side dish, so I had to eat coleslaw as a dessert—and I absolutely didn’t care. I could see it was a busy night and they were trying their best. It’s okay; I don’t have to be pampered at a diner.

A couple of days passed, and as I’m having coffee this morning, I realized how ignorant I was. I kept thinking, "No one should yell at a diner over small things at a person who is working for a minimum-wage job." In other words, if it were a Michelin-star restaurant and the host were making a substantial wage, would that person deserve yelling over a mistake? No. That was never my thought process, but I was ignorant while I wasn’t even noticing it, and I’m embarrassed to realize it.

I try to be careful. I try to be careful when I feel, act, and think. I once thought I could discern right from wrong, and ever since then, it has been nothing but embarrassment, realizing how young and "less of a person" I was.

I just want to help. I really do. I was once there, and it felt cold, lonely, and like the end of the world. That’s why.

Or am I just stepping over the line and projecting my younger self onto others instead of minding my own business?

The crows scratched my head quite severely that day, and I still remember the feeling when their sharp talons were hurting my scalp.

I felt hurt.