How was your week? No, really. How was it really? I really meant to ask you.

I wasn’t sleeping well, and my eyes were dry, so I had to bring eye drops with me everywhere I go.

I’m finally back on this trail again, seeing water deer.

I saw so many water deer today! I think almost 10 to 15 of them! I like animals, and I think they like me too. I can tell they do, and I think they can tell that I do as well.

I want to be forgotten when I'm gone. In my last night’s dream, my dad passed away. When I'm gone, I don't want anyone to hold onto me for too long. I called my dad this morning after the dream.

I don’t know why exactly I carry this idea that I want to be forgotten after I'm gone; to be even more precise, I don't want to be remembered even when I'm around.

Living as a nobody gives a liberating feeling. Maybe I want to feel more free; maybe I don't want any strings attached to me. Or may be something else.

Then I thought, I am nobody already. It’s funny that I thought people would hold on to me when I'm gone as if I'm an icon of our times.

We all forget actors and actresses; we don't even know the names of Nobel Prize winners. We all live our lives and would rather not think about others. And I feel relieved that this is human nature.

How do I feel, now that I’ve realized I'm nobody? I feel great. I thought I was going to be somebody when I was younger; I thought I was going to be someone special, and I was proud of just even having that idea.

Working in the fancy tallest building in the financial district, updating my LinkedIn profile every once in a while, and consistently getting calls from recruiters. I felt I was turning into something, somebody.

I wasn't. And I am so embarrassed that I thought I was.

I just want to do this, the work I do at Tea room. I just want to study more deeply into East Asian philosophy, Korean tea culture and share it with others. And I don't feel I'm someone who is so noble or too special on the job.

When I'm gone, the tea room will still be here. When I'm gone, the tea master will be here, and all the beautiful tea will be still here. And more importantly, the Korean tea tradition and its legacy will be here.

I'm nobody. I always was. I am so embarrassed that I thought I wasn’t.

Financial district

Savior