11. Turtle

©Jason

“Maybe I’m crazy. All these thoughts. Maybe I’m the crazy one.”

“No..don’t go there, J. I don’t think you’re crazy.”

“No, I mean I am a little bit. I saw cherry blossoms and I saw myself. I think I’m the one who wanted to have people's support when I was struggling. Does that make sense? My world has been shut down, like someone turned the lights off on certain parts of my world. I still went on with my life but it feels like people weren’t there. I wasn’t expecting everyone to come around, but I was expecting someone to come around. I know Jason, you, Chae, Seul and Ben were always there and I think I survived because of you all and I’m not trying to say your support was not enough. I don’t know. I feel foggy again.”

“We think we always need more shoes. I think you wanted to have more shoes.”

“You always say stuff like this, so random, and it somehow hits just right.”

“J, do you remember I talked to the spring the other day?”

”What do you mean, the spring?”

“Spring, the season?”

“What do you mean? How do you talk to a season?”

“I do. I talk to so many things. I’m only bad at talking to people. I’m capable of talking to everything else.”

“So what did she say?”

“She said she wasn’t noticing I was waiting for her and wasn’t even paying attention when she was arriving. But she seemed happy when I said I was looking at the empty trees in the middle of winter and thinking of her to come.”

“You did?”

”Yeah J, I did. A grown man talking to the tree while putting hands on the trunk of the tree in the middle of the night. Talking to Spring and flowers. If there is a crazy one between you and I, I probably will be the one. But J, I don’t think I am.”